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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Facebook Break

For over 2 weeks, I have fasted from Facebook.  Well, to put it more bluntly, I deactivated my FB for an undetermined amount of time.  There are lots of reasons people temporarily deactivate.  Sickness, Tragedy, Unforeseen Circumstances, Job Interviews, Embarrassment, Fasting.... Well, the reason I stepped away for a bit is not from anything listed above.  It was because it was becoming toxic to my well-being.  Like poison.  No, I'm not exaggerating, even though I tend to do that. ;) This is the real deal!  There are a lot of things I need want to say, but I choose not to throw it out on FB, simply because if it doesn't edify and encourage others, it's pointless and useless and does more harm than good.

Now, hold on a minute...

I am NOT for fake...never has any problems...everything is perfect either! Life is brutal!! Just want to be clear. :) It can encourage others when you go through a hard time by how you get through it.

Currently, there is quite a bit of stress in several areas of my life.  Can anyone relate?!

Our church is going through some changes and with a husband on staff at church, that affects us two-fold.  One- It is my husband's occupation, therefore contributing to "work stress".  Two- This is our  church family.  We love these people! Some of our dearest friends are in the trenches with us.  It hurts us when they hurt.

Tragedies: Since January 2011, we have had 6 deaths of those close to us.  5 of which were family members, and 1 was one of our former students.  With each death, there is a whole new grieving process.  Disbelief and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining(If we had done this differently, then this wouldn't have happened), Depression, and ultimately, Acceptance.

Family stress: I hesitate to say anything in the chance I may offend some. But, in order to deal with a problem, you have to face it head on.  Simply put, there is some stress from every angle of our families, Roger's side included. My side has lost 3 family members within 2 years, and learning how to do things without them has been difficult.  Roger's side has lost 3 in less than a year. Not to mention cancer and sickness on both sides. Family members that are fighting for their life, right now.  Just rough. Then add in the affect it has on all of us.  I'm watching people I love make choices they know will harm them. I'm also watching myself struggling through it and wondering how I will handle it each day.  Trust me, it's different every day.  It's much like the grieving process listed above.  There are days when I'm angry. Days I'm depressed. Days I am bargaining-"Maybe if I had been a better wife, sister, daughter, mom, friend, etc...these things would not be happening..."(my inner dialogue)

Then, there are those stresses we all deal with from time to time...financial, friendships, disappointing those we love and care about, personal stuggles/addictions.

What was happening with Facebook, is I would see a passive aggressive status or comment, and I would just be infuriated.  If you have to choose whether you want to be passive aggressive, or just plain aggressive, I say....be aggresive. B-E aggressive!  Whoa...that takes me back to my old cheerleading days! ;) But, seriously, why not handle it the way God says to?  I'm sure He didn't have in mind that we should throw verses back and forth at one another in order to win an arguement or prove a point, just for OUR own satisfaction of hurting someone.  For His children to be slinging hateful comments back and forth or saying things you wouldn't dare say to the person's face.  I don't think that's what He had in mind. God says to handle conflict by going to the person directly(Matthew 18:15).

Yes, I know it's much easier to make a case against someone and get them on your side, than handling it directly with the person you have the issue with.  Trust me, I've been there! But, the place that offers more peace is where I want to be. The way to do this, is to go to that person.  You can't control how they react to it, only how you react.

Very wordy post, I know...but if I can't be candid and honest with you and myself, what's the point?

I plan on returning later this week to FB.  I have dealt with some things I needed to deal with and I think I'll be a lot better off.  I have learned through this that life is more than what I want to post to FB!  I have started using my time in other ways. I got back to more quality time with My Savior and my family, blogging, texting or actually calling people, and, wait for it....listening to people when they talk to me rather than having the compulsion to check FB while the person is talking.  True story. :)  I highly recommend time away...time away where you can't get on and see what's going on! Time to live your life!

3 comments:

  1. It is late and I am trying to be profound and it isn't working, so I will just say. Great post and good idea. We are forgetting how to talk to each other and how to listen. Facebook, pinterest, e-mail and texting is not the same thing as sitting down face to face and actually talking to someone.

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  2. I find it interesting and sad how our society has become more dependent the Facebook instead of the Face to Face. God made us social creatures in need of fellowship .. and I believe that he is referring to that uplifting encouragement of being with others together not through a compute screen. It's definitely something we all need to work on. ~ Tristen

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  3. Love you, Lisa. Proud of you, girl.

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